It’s bound to happen at least once during your child’s school years. You’ll have a great teacher one year and the next year you think, “I don’t like my child’s new teacher.” What can and should you do to make the year a good one?
One thing you need to remember is that teachers are people, too. Sometimes there are just personality conflicts that are neither the teacher’s nor the parent’s fault. You can have a respectful relationship even if you don’t particularly care for one another.[ad]
You may also need to realize that the one time you met your child’s new teacher they may not have been having a good day. Don’t give up on the teacher based on one meeting. Here are some tips to help you get along with your child’s teacher for the benefit of your child.
* Be positive. Don’t belittle your child’s teacher in front of your child. No matter how you feel about the teacher, only speak positively about them.
* Meet with the teacher often. If you have concerns, go directly to the teacher. Stay focused on your child and their relationship with their teacher while you’re talking. This will help you avoid accusing the teacher of doing wrong and help them maintain a good relationship with your child.
* Remember they want what’s best for your child just like you do. They do have a vested interest in your child’s educational success, even if you don’t care for them.
* Do you dislike your child’s teacher because of personal experience or because of something you’ve heard? Listen to what others have to say about the teacher to a certain degree. If you haven’t had the same situation that has caused their concerns, give the teacher the benefit of the doubt. There may be a personality conflict or the situation may have been blown totally out of proportion.
* Try to work out any differences with the teacher rather than going over their heads to the principal. However, if the teacher refuses to listen to you, is antagonistic, or belligerent, then you may feel free to approach the principal.
* Schedule a time where you, the principal, and the teacher can meet to discuss options. Don’t attack the teacher; calmly address the items that concern you. Maybe the principal will be able to explain things to you in a way that you can understand and avoid any further problems.
* As a last resort, if you honestly think your child will receive poor grades because of your relationship with the teacher, ask if it would be possible for your child to change rooms. This isn’t the best situation, and it teaches your child that working out a problem isn’t important. However, it may be the only solution to the problem.
What do you do when you realize, “I don’t like my child’s new teacher?” Follow the above suggestions to try to resolve any problems. Do what’s best for your child. If they aren’t having problems with the teacher, leave things alone unless you think they’ll be hurt in some way. Chances are they’ll have another new teacher the next year.
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I taught in elementary schools for over 10 years prior to becoming a stay-at-home mom, so I have been on both sides of the fence. You made many excellent points, especially the parts about getting to know the teacher and going to the teacher first with questions and concerns.
Here’s two things I would like to add that may surprise many parents:
Many, many teachers are shy. They love kids and are great at working with and teaching their students, but they are very nervous around parents. So, as the saying goes, you can’t always judge a book by it’s cover.
Lots of teachers are overly strict and firm at the beginning of the year so they get good control of their classes. Then, they can show more warmth and have more fun with their students.
So, unless the situation is very negative, I would give it a little time, and not make snap judgements. Being a parent, I know how important it is for your child to have a good experience in school, so it is hard to wait.
Today I met my son´s new teacher for the first time. Unfortunately my first impression of her was extremely negative as there was no warmth or openness on her part.
Even when introducing myself I got a grunt and was told very bluntly that she was busy with the children.
I also work in education, so can understand both sides of the equation. However manners cost absolutely nothing.
Thank you for all the advice in your article, I´ve found it really useful and will certainly try the tips suggested.
Hopefully she was just having a bad day and things will improve soon. Fingers crossed!!!