Domestic Violence Awareness Month began as the “Day of Unity” in October 1981. The idea was started by the National Coalition against Domestic Violence and has grown from a day-long event to one that lasted a week. Finally it was extended to cover the entire month of October because this topic is so important.
People have probably heard of domestic violence but many don’t know what it is. In its simplest terms, domestic violence is a pattern that occurs in a relationship where one person tries to gain power and control of the other. Although it is often referred to as “spousal abuse”, victims of domestic violence can be of any age, religion, or gender.
Domestic violence isn’t an issue about anger. In fact, an abusive spouse may not ever physically harm another person besides their own spouse. They will also wait until there are no witnesses before they will begin to bad talk or abuse their spouse.
Control is the issue behind spousal or domestic abuse. One person wants to attempt to have total control over their spouse and they’ll do anything to accomplish that goal. Here are some of the strategies that an abusive spouse may use:
1. Dominance: They need to feel like they are in charge. They may make all family decisions and expect you to obey them without question. You may also be treated like a child or a servant.
2. Humiliation: They will use derogatory talk to make you feel bad about yourself. If they convince you that you’re not worth loving and they’re doing you a favor by staying with you, you’ll be less likely to leave.
3. Isolation: They want to maintain your dependence upon them so they cut you off from the outside world. You may not be able to meet or talk to friends or family, to the point where you are not allowed to leave the house without them being with you.
4. Threats: Abusive relationships use this tactic to keep their family from leaving. They may threaten to call child services or may even say they’ll kill themselves if the other partner leaves.
5. Intimidation: Abusers use intimidation to scare you into submission. They may slam something in front of you, destroy your things, or hurt your family pet.
6. Denial and blame: Abusers will make excuses for their behavior or blame their victim for it.
7. Guilt: What usually occurs after an abusive episode is that the abuser feels guilty, but not because of what they’ve done. They may apologize but are more worried about facing the consequences of their actions.
Domestic violence is something no one wants to endure. Unfortunately it is all too often an occurrence. That is the reason Domestic Violence Awareness Month was instituted. The hope is that by making more people aware of the violence it will stop.
