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Tips For Coping With Sibling Rivalry

June 21, 2008 By Leave a Comment

Some children are naturally more competitive than others – until it comes to siblings.  It seems that in every family where there is more than one child there is some form of sibling rivalry.  The competitive spirit can be good at times but at other times it can get out of control.  It is important to take measures to help keep sibling rivalry at a healthy minimum.  Here are some useful tips to stop the rivalry getting out of control.[ad]

1.  Set aside time to spend with each sibling on a one-to-one basis.  Make the special time about that one child.  Let him choose the place that you go or the thing that you do.  Make the one-on-one time something that does require talking (no movies for this).  The idea is to create a bond with the child while giving him the chance to feel like the center of your world.

2.  Remind each child that he or she is an individual and gifts and talents are unique to each of us.  Focus on her talents and gifts and encourage her to follow those instead of the footsteps of older siblings (or even parents).

3.  Spend non-competitive time as a family.  Playing games and sports together is great, but there should be some relaxed time as well.  Go hang out at the zoo or tour the botanical gardens.  Just have some fun that doesn’t require competition (but watch them; siblings have a way of creating competition when you aren’t looking).

4.  Avoid using statements that compare one sibling to another.  Instead of making a comment like “when your brother was your age” or “if you would just work like your sister does”, you should focus on the positives of the sibling you are talking with.  “You are doing so much better this year with your school work.”  “You are working so much harder to get your chores done and I can tell a big difference.”  Just keep siblings out of the comments altogether.

5.  Take the time to support each child in activities and events on an equal basis.  If one is more involved than another, then find other ways to support the one who has the least activities.
 
6.  Keep an open dialogue with all siblings.  You can better judge the temperature of the water and get a handle on any problems before they can get out of hand.

7.  Set the rules BEFORE the children come along.  Determine at what age children will be eligible for allowance, sleepovers, and other important events.  Set a spending limit for birthdays and holidays (and raise it and allowances by set increments).  Having rules in place that are followed for each child will help to reduce the whine of “well HE got to do it before now” or “SHE got more than I did.”

Sibling rivalry seems to be a natural element in any home with more than one child.  Although it may not be possible to eliminate the competitive spirit between siblings, it may be possible to reduce the sibling rivalry (particularly when it comes to the relationship with parents).
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Pros and Cons to Being a Work at Home Mom

June 20, 2008 By Leave a Comment

There are many pros and cons to being a work at home mom.  Deciding whether it is right for you will require looking at some of the situations, and determining if you can make them work for your benefit.[ad]

Pro:  When you work at home, you have the ability to be more accessible to the people who need you most.  If a situation arises, your children (or spouse or neighbors) know that you are just a room away. 

Con:  Unfortunately, many of the people closest to you will not understand that when you are working you are actually working.  Emergencies may include things like not being able to find a favorite baseball.  Almost always, you will be the first person that family and neighbors think of when they need someone to do something during the work day – after all you are at home.

The key is to find creative ways to make yourself available but not TOO available.  Put up a sign on the door of when you will be taking a break, make a list of actual emergency situations and turn off the phone (or send your calls straight to the answering machine).  No matter what you do, people will still see more of the home than they will of the work.

Pro:  One of the best things about the work at home scenario is that you can work anytime that you want (depending on what you are doing at home).  You aren’t locked in to the 9 to 5 hours that many people are forced to squeeze into.  If you are up at 2 am then you can work at 2 am.  Your schedule is usually completely up to you.

Con:  It is easy to fall into the procrastination habit when you don’t have someone behind you telling you what to do and when to do it.  Being able to work at home at anytime of the day or night often means you put off work until later.

There are plenty of ways to help you stay on track with your work at home.  Create detailed schedules or fill a calendar with your activities and jobs and due dates.  Make yourself commit a certain number of hours to work each day (preferably at the same time each day) and you will be able to keep procrastination at bay.

Having the ability to work at home often requires a balancing act.  Many of the pros that are associated with people who work at home are also the cons.  If you can find ways to flip the cons into positive situations, then you will find that being able to work at home is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

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Broccoli Florets in a Creamy Mustard Sauce

June 18, 2008 By Leave a Comment

Ingredients:

1  1/2 pounds broccoli
2 tablespoons butter
1 medium onion, finely chopped
2 garlic cloves, finely chopped
1/2 cup sour cream
1 tablespoon Dijon-style mustard
1 tablespoon lemon juice
Salt and pepper to taste

Instructions:

Place a large skillet over medium high heat.  Add the butter and allow to completely melt.  Place the onion in the skillet and cook just until they start to tender.  Add the garlic cloves and continue to cook 2 minutes. Stir in the sour cream and mustard until well blended.  Add the lemon juice and carefully stir.  Salt and pepper to taste.  Continue to cook over low heat until completely heated through.  Clean the broccoli.  Take the broccoli and cut the florets.  Slice the stalk.  Place water in a saucepan large enough to hold the broccoli.  You need enough water to just cover the broccoli. Bring water to a boil. Reduce heat to low and cover the saucepan. Steam the broccoli until just slightly tender. You want the broccoli to remain firm.  Drain the broccoli well.  Remove to a large bowl and cover with the sauce. 
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